Digital Headbutt

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Archive for May, 2007

Game 2 Live Blog: 2007 Stanley Cup Finals

Posted by Mike on May 30, 2007

Tonight The Ottawa Senators play the Anaheim in game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final, for the right to sell their playoff beards on eBay have their name etched on one of the world’s most legendary trophies. Ottawa gained an early lead in game 1 by converting two of their many power play opportunities, but the Ducks were able to force turnovers, score late and get the win. For Ottawa to win this game they will need to do a good job of protecting the puck. I just hope Snoop Dogg is in the building.

8:05 pm: Let’s get this out of the way: unless he comes to Boston or Charlotte, I don’t care about the Kobe trade controversy. At all.

8:15 pm: The game begins. The Ottawa Senators control the puck early. The Ducks get the first two shots on goal, which Ray Emery is able to save. Both teams are delivering big hits already.

8:18 pm: The Ducks get the first power play off a boarding penalty by Mike Comrie. The game is going at a fast pace so far.

8:21 pm: Ottawa succeeds in killing the penalty. For the first half, it looked like the shorthanded Senators were the aggressors. Good defense.

8:23 pm: Anaheim’s Drew Miller is called for interference. The Senators will now be on the power play, at which they’re very effective at scoring.

8:26 pm: The Senators get a few good opportunites, but can’t get a shot on goal, and Anaheim kills the penalty.

Ottawa is called for boarding again, and the Ducks will be back on the power play. I think that Volchenkov made a clean hit, because the guy he hit knew it was coming.

8:29 pm: Teemu Sellane makes a great quick pass to Ryan Getzlaf, but Emery is there to make the save.

8:30 pm: Ray Emery is getting tested early and often. That’s three good shots on goal for Anaheim one minute into this power play.

8:32 pm: The Ducks get 4-5 shots on goal, but no goal on the power play as we reach the midway point in the first period. Ottawa survives, but their defenders show how not to defend the power play, unable to clear the puck at all.

8:34 pm: Volchenkov nearly has a breakaway coming out of the penalty box, but the defense catches up and he can’t get a shot off.

8:37 pm: Ottawa gets a good opportunity off of a deflection, but Giguere makes the save (only the second one he has needed to make.

Ottawa gets another power play, the fourth total PP in the first period.

8:39 pm: After the Senators get two good shots off, Pronger is called for slashing. Ottawa will have a 5-on-3.

8:40 pm: Great goaltending by Giguere. The line of Heatley, Spezza, and Alfredsson were determined to get a goal, firing great shot after great shot. But Giguere and the Ducks defense were there to stop the goal every time. Unbelievable.

8:42 pm: I can’t say this enough. Ottawa got a lot of great chances to score, but J. S. Giguere’s netminding has been absolutely awesome. The game is still scoreless, but this has been a very good game so far.

8:46 pm: 3:30 left, 1st period. Emery makes a big mistake, diving for the puck and missing. But the Ducks aren’t able to take advantage.

8:49 pm: 2:16 left, 1st period. The Ducks continue to get chances, but Emery has denied all 12 shots so far.

8:50 pm: 1:53 left, 1st period. The Ducks are back on the power play. I think that “2 minutes for roughing” is a very generous term for what Mike Fisher did to Corey Perry. It was blatant retaliation.

8:52 pm: “This is bull—-! How did I end up working at Del Taco?!? I’ve made six platinum records and starred een five Hollywood movies!”

del-taco.jpg

Pay attention to the board ads behind Ray Emery.

8:53 pm: The 1st period ends. The game has been very exciting so far, but the game remains in a scoreless tie, 0-0. Ottawa will need to take better advantage on their opportunities, and they must clamp down on defense. They cannot expect Ray Emery to stop 40 straight shots.

9:13 pm: The second period begins. How could the Ducks not get a shot off before the power play ended from the first period? I mean, you had a whopping SEVEN SECONDS! Come on…

9:15 pm: The Senators have been the aggressors so far in the second period. Anaheim’s defenders have done a good job of preventing any good shots from getting to Giguere.

9:16 pm: Jason Spezza got too loose in his own zone with the puck, and the Ducks were able to turn it over and get three good shots. Emery continues to excel between the pipes tonight.

9:19 pm: So far, the best puck handler for the Anaheim Ducks has been Jason Spezza. Not good for the Senators.

9:22 pm: This has been a great game of hockey. It’s been so smooth that they’ve been playing nonstop for at least six minutes without pause. Emery continues to stop everything shot his way as we hit the midway point of the game, still scoreless.

9:26 pm: Oh yeah…when I think of hockey, I think of OutKast’s “The Way You Move”.

9:27 pm: The Ducks very nearly score off the faceoff at the 9 minute mark in the second period.

9:31 pm: 6:46 left. The Sens get a golden opportunity as the Ducks turn the puck over in front of the net, but Giguere makes the stop.

Anaheim gets a great opportunity of their own, getting several good shots at once. The Sens defenders are bewildered, but Emery stops all of the shots. He has 23 saves tonight. While scoreless, this game has been a lot of fun to watch. I don’t care what Extra P. says, hockey is great when played the right way.

9:36 pm: It isn’t a sporting event on TV without the awkward celebrity interview.

9:38 pm: A weird bounce off the boards nearly leads to a freak goal for the Senators.

9:41 pm: Apparently, Bill McCreary is the Pierluigi Collina of the NHL. He has refereed the last 13 Stanley Cup Finals. That is consistency.

Anaheim will be on the power play to end the 2nd period.

9:45 pm: The Senators have done a good job of killing the penalty, and the Ducks have been called for a penalty before the end of the second period. The game remains tied, 0-0. Both teams have played well so far in the game, but Ottawa need to get more shots on goal if the want to score in regulation. The only got 4 shots in the period and 11 in the game.

10:06 pm: Anaheim does a good job of killing the penalty to start the third period, but Ottawa then sends a flurry of shots at the net. Giguere and the defense are able to stop all of them, but the Ducks need to do a better job of clearing the zone.

10:08 pm: Do you know when you’ve arrived as a blog? When you get 20 spam comments that make it through the filter in one day.

10:09 pm: The Ducks get a great chance at a goal, so close that the refs had to look at the replay to make sure it wasn’t a goal. But Emery makes another unbelievable save, keeping the game scoreless.

10:13 pm: 14:08 left, 3rd period. If more NHL games were played like tonight’s game, a lot more fans would care about hockey. Don’t let the score (or lack thereof) fool you; this has been a great game.

10:20 pm: 10:20 left, 3rd period. Anaheim has 29 shots on goal to Ottawa’s 13. According to that stat, if the Sens win this game they will have stolen it, but their offense has played better than that stat indicates. Still,the Ducks have had more chances, and a lot of credit must be given to Emery for keeping his team in the game.

10:27 pm: The players are clearly fatigued by the fast pace of the game early. They’ve begun to slow down and aren;t getting as many scoring opportunities. The winner may be the team that has any energy left.

10:29 pm: GOOOAAAALL!!! Dany heatley turns the ball over, and Samuel Pahlsson has an open slapshot that gets through Emery’s five hole for the first goal of the game. Anaheim leads, 1-0, with less than 6 minutes left in regulation.

10:34 pm: Alfredsson makes a great pass to Spezza for the shot in front of Giguere, but he makes the save. with 4:20 left in the third period, time is running out for the Senators to equalize in this game.

Only in Anaheim can the word “Ducks” be turned into two syllables for a cheer.

10:37 pm: 2:45 left, 3rd period. Peter Schaffer gets a golden opportunity thanks to great passing by the Sens, getting an open net to the left. But he hits the post, and Giguere and the defense stop Ottawa’s subsequent shots. If the Sen couldn’t score then, I’m not sure they can score at all.

10:40 pm: The Sens send an extra attacker andone last flurry of shots, but the defenders block them all, and Anaheim wins the game, 1-0. Emery and Giguere both had great games, and both teams had their fair share of opportunities, but for the second straight game, Ottawa’s turnovers at key moments cost the game for the Ottawa Senators. They played their hearts out, but it looks like they ran out of gas after giving their best effort and coming up completely empty. A great hockey game by both teams, but Anaheim comes out on top.

T he Ducks now lead the series 2-0. The Senators must win Game 3 in front of their home crowd to have any realistic chance in this series.

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Posted in Anaheim Ducks, Digital Headbutt, Hockey, Live Blog, NHL, Ottawa Senators, Stanley Cup Finals, yes this is a slow news day. how can you tell?, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | Leave a Comment »

My Iron Egg Kung Fu Style Is Unstoppable!

Posted by Mike on May 28, 2007

Old Footage. Nut Shots. Bad Choreography. Chinese Subtitles. Kung Fu. All combine to make 86 seconds of You Tube gold.

UPDATE: This is an actual form of Qi Gong, Shaolin Iron Shirt, which gives its practitioners the ability to withstand devastating blows.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Funny Videos, Great Moments in Stupidity, Kung Fu, nutshots | 5 Comments »

ACC Baseball Championship Live Blog on Tar Heel Mania

Posted by Mike on May 27, 2007

UNC will be playing at 1pm today with chance to win their 5th ACC Baseball Tournament Championship. Alex White had an unbelievable game on the mound yesterday, allowing only two hits in seven shutout innings, and led the Tar Heels to a 4-0 win over Virginia and a berth in the Championship, their first appearance since 1990. By virtue of a win over Miami, Wake Forest will be UNC opponent this afternoon. I’ll be live blogging the game on Tar Heel Mania. So…see you there!

baseball-rameses.jpg

Posted in ACC Tournament, Baseball, Championship, Digital Headbutt, Live Blog, NCAA, North Carolina, Tar Heel Mania, Tar Heels, UNC, Wake Forest | Leave a Comment »

Cologne Tar Heels (er, Centurions) Report: NFL Europa Week 7

Posted by Mike on May 26, 2007

centurio.jpgThe Cologne Tar Heels Centurions were triumphant once again this week, dominating their Friday night game against the Amsterdam Admirals by a score of 30-7. Clologne got it done with the powerful running game, two of the backs (Derrick Ross and A.J. Harris) rushed for over 100 yards, and the team had a total of 232 yards on the ground. When the Centurions needed to go to the air, quarterback Erik Meyer was frighteningly efficient, completing 13 of his 15 passes for 193 yards and two touchdowns. UNC alum Bobby Blizzard led all players with 65 yards receiving.

The Cologne defense, led by French linebacker Phillipe Gardent, was equally dominant. Amsterdam depends on their passing game, and the Centurions shut it down. Drew Olson only completed 16 of his 38 passes, and the Admirals only got one first down and 47 total yards in the first three quarters. In total Cologne allowed 193 yards, 144 of which were in the fourth quarter, when Cologne already had a 30-0 lead. It took a 35 yard pass from Olson to Harry Williams as time expired to prevent the shutout.

Perhaps the most telling sign of the Centurions’ absolute domination was time of possession. They had the ball for twice as long (39:44) as the Admirals (20:16). Former Tar Heel cornerback Cedrick Holt contributed with one tackle and two pass deflections.

With the win, Cologne improves to 5-2, while Amsterdam now sites at 3-4. With their consistently low attendance, NFL Europa may move the Admirals to a German city (Hannover and Leipzig both want franchises) if they finish with a losing record. Defending champion Frankfurt must beat the Rhein Fire to keep up. Cologne has two more home games, next week against Hamburg and another matchup with Amsterdam, before the regular season finale at Frankfurt, a possible World Bowl XV preview. That will be an exciting game to watch. Too bad I don’t get the NFL Network.

Posted in #1, Carolina, Colonge Centurions, Digital Headbutt, Mel Kiper Has No Idea What's Going On, NFL Europa, Tar Heels | 2 Comments »

Update on Domain Names

Posted by Mike on May 25, 2007

Earlier this month I posted a few unclaimed sports-related domain names, partly as a fun exercise and partly to help inspire a few new sports bloggers, as coming up with a cool name can be difficult. After nearly two weeks, I am sad to report that if you were interested in buying the following three domain names, they have already been taken off the market:

ronmexicosdogfights.com/ (for obvious reasons)

ghostofbarbaro.com/ (ditto)

firevincelombardi.com/

Too bad. Those were three of my favorites, although I didn’t expect Fire Vince Lombardi to get taken ahead of a few others. However, the following domain names are still available for the taking:

bodybylendale.com/

theschrutebag.com/

kirilenkosgroupies.com/

thisisfootbaw.com/

missjoakimnoah.com/

hog-vs-kolb.com/

cowherspitshield.com/

I’ll have another list of domain names for you in June.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Digital Headbutt, Fun with domain names, NCAA, NFL, Stuff That Involves Things, This is why the Internet was invented, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | 4 Comments »

Mud Butt: The Answer To LenDale’s Prayers!

Posted by Mike on May 24, 2007

diarrhea.jpg This post just wrote itself. It pertains to a new weight loss drug, Alli. I watched a CNBC report on Wednesday night about Alli, a drug that’s supposed to make you lose weight at a modest, healthy pace. The key mechanism of the drug (Orlastit) is that it blocks your body from absorbing fat fro the food you eat. As Glaxo Smith Kilne, the makers of Alli, make clear in their handbook “Are You Losing It?” it could lead to some disastrous consequences.

“You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of your treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.”

“You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take Alli. The bathroom is really the only place to go when that happens.”

Wow. Just…wow. The joke possibilities are endless.

If centers start getting unexpectedly skinny this season, it may be a good idea for the quarterback to run a shotgun offense.

The Madden curse will continue not by injury, but by the fact that the goalline formation snap from center and handoff to LenDale White will make Vince Young’s season a living hell. He may get Ebola or something. Definitely don’t get his autograph after the game; it will be the NFL’s finest biohazard.

Oh, so that’s what happened to Najeh Davenport!

Al Michaels: “The starting defensive tackle won’t start tonight. He’s out with a colon.”

Billy Packer: “Clearly, that is not diarrhea, Jim.”

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Alli, Digital Headbutt, Great Moments in Stupidity, MLS, Mud Butt, Stuff That Involves Things, WTF | 2 Comments »