Never a Bad Time for a Funny Photo, Part II: Bulls Resign Luol Deng

The Chicago Bulls have given Deng, a restricted free agent, a six year contract worth $71 million.

Why does this matter to me, you ask? Because it gives me an excuse to post this Duke picture, which his agent undoubtedly used as leverage.

Return of the Triple Option!

Thirty years ago, it was the only way to play in college football. Fifteen years ago, many major programs were still using it. But when Bill Callahan’s West Coast offense was installed at Nebraska, everyone though t it meant that the triple option, as an artform in major college football, was dead.

Well, now we know for sure. This ancient form of sport is returning, thanks to Georgia Tech’s Paul Johnson.

The article goes into far more detail than I, but it makes two fundamental points. First, The triple option offense has been used effectively in major college football for decades, and there’s no reason to believe it cannot still work when used effectively. Second, the triple option has become so rare in major college football that most coaches, staff, and players won’t know how to defend it.

I think the prospect of the triple option on major college football is more exciting now than 15 years ago precisely because of this: the rarity. Part of what makes the NFL less exciting than college is that just about every team seems to run a similar offense, with only changes based on personnel. The return of the triple option is fantastic because it’s now the exception, rather than the rule.

Now, if only we can get Butch Davis to throw in the A-11 formation.

Sifl Given 2012 Olympic Mascot Honors for Bravery in the Moon Wars

And, apparently, an Olympic medal and silver dye job. His moon comrades were not so lucky, however.

Hard to believe that this show was on MTV ten years ago.

(Inspiration: BBC via Deadspin)

Heels On the Brain

If you’re reading this and wondering “where the hell is Mike?”, then look no further. College football is coming, and UNC preseason coverage is in full swing over at Tar Heel Mania. So go check it out.

As for Digital Headbutt, a more regular rate of posts will return very, very soon.

Orgeron Sin Barreras

Ed Orgeron, once head coach at Ole Miss, is now a defensive assistant for the New Orleans Saints. It’s a decent job, but it doesn’t have the perks that being head coach at Ole Miss provided to him. Therefore he must seek alternative incomes in order to continue to pay for his head coach-caliber lifestyle. One such venture has been the peddling of his own feature product, how to speak like a true Cajun…Orgeron Sin Barreras, a system of speech based on the diction of Mr. Orgeron himself.

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YawyawyawdisisCoachO, annaseeyintratsedinma speeknvoys! Yalahkawayamtahkin,  BUHYAKANNUNNAHSTANADAHMTANG! Dohmatter, AHAFDANSAH! Iskal ORGERON SIN BURERAH, ahnwidit yabaspeekinCoachOtahkinnotahm!

ORGERON SIN BURERAH iskwatsimpullessaplan,  tagetchatahkinlak daCoachOinjasanawahdah! Bahfadaeckstrehmleeloprahsatree eesahpahmanajus fottynahnnahneefahv!!!

WitORGERON SIN BURERAHyagatabaxeta 12 difadeesfahdahteevee, 8 cuhzetsfahdahHUMMERan 10 booklets fahwenyahgahtahREED!

Larnhottayoozinflexions anfrazefopropodixion! Nodabasec vokboolreen nowntaspeekwidanatiff! CoachOteechnajussawayaspeekin, BUDDACOUCHURRAWAYALAHF!

CawnouangeddeFREEEDIFADEE datshoafanst tecneekforspeekalahkareelCoachO!

Yagitawdisfahjustree eesahpahmanafottynahnnahneefahv! Batyaneedacawlna! CAWLL WAN-AYTAYTAYT-AYTAYTAYTAYTAYTAYTAYTAYT! DASS WAN-AYTAYTAYT-AYTAYTAYTAYTAYTAYTAYT! CAHMENAH!!!

The Real Secret to SEC Speed

Aliens and UFOs. It all makes sense now.

A professor at the University of Florida has developed the first flying saucer known to man. This being the University Florida, the research will almost certainly become just the latest scientific advantage given to Gator football, after the developments of Gatorade, Fun n’ Gun mind control chips, and the genetic building project of Tim Tebow at a Cold War-era CIA laboratory in Quezon City (you don’t think his birth in the Phillipines was a coincidence, do you?). As these magnetically charged “UFOs” can be built as large or as small as needed, they can easily be grafted onto cleats and turn receivers into human hovercrafts.

You can bet that this will be the new wave of cleats in the coming years, and that Florida will score 89 points per game this year. Because if science isn’t being used for football, it’s a waste of taxpayers’ money.