Ichiro Suzuki Sings: “The Appalachian Mountain Range University It Is Hot!”

This past Friday night, Seattle Mariners star Ichiro was up late in Pioneer Square when he decided to hit a karaoke bar with a few American teammates. One of his teammates, an avid college football fan, told him about Appalachian State’s historic upset over Michigan just a few weeks ago. He responded, through his translator, that he admired the small school’s fighting spirit, and wanted to acknowledge them in some way. And so he asked the karaoke DJ, again through his translator, if there was any particular song to which he could dedicate App State’s historic victory. The DJ played the obvious choice, “Appalachian is HOT! HOT HOT!”.

The following is a transcript of what Ichiro and his translator sang in the ensuing two and a half minutes. Do not laugh, lest ye face the wrath of Suzuki-san’s Maplewood Katana.

Ichiro says: This is not funny.

(NOTE: The song’s lyrics were translated to Japanese and re-translated to “Engrish” by Babelfish.)

There is university of the place where the highest,

It goes in the mountain in regard to remainder.

It works together, it is best, but because of a certain,

Series of the Appalachian mountain range of the surface of smile.

The existence truth which which comes the doctrine, the learning,

The being brought up, and dream and endeavors.

We that and what are hotter than ASU and shout it is not thing here where doubt concerning that!

To be hot it is hot hotly, is hot hotly it is hot,

The Appalachian mountain range university it is hot! It is hot! It is hot!

We are hot, why we having, it reaches,

The fact that we are shown it is permitted it permits the fact that thing we who come show it comes! It is hot! It is hot!

(instrument solos)

To be hot it is hot hotly, is hot hotly it is hot,

the Appalachian mountain range university it is hot! It is hot! It is hot!

We are hot, why we having, it reaches,

The fact that we are shown it is permitted it permits the fact that thing we who come show it comes! It is hot! It is hot!

Our desires of the large tradition,

Where you speak the language of brave New Year are made.

It is the world concerning the night of new day

When the mind of Mountaineer is expanded opening.

The country, loyalty the best student and teacher,

Us the large quantity have with the graduate.

As the stone you brag as the solid matter and the hole sparrow

And the Appalachian mountain range university, it is hot! It is hot! It is hot!

To be hot it is hot hotly, is hot hotly it is hot,

The Appalachian mountain range university it is hot! It is hot! It is hot!

We are hot, why we having, it reaches,

The fact that we are shown it is permitted it permits the fact that thing we who come show it comes! It is hot! It is hot!

The weather is cool, it is cool, when being cool even,

The Appalachian mountain range university is hot! It is hot! It is hot!