Digital Headbutt

A sports blog about stuff…stuff that involves things.

Archive for the ‘Shameless Self Promotion’ Category

Mom, You Can Call Off The Bots Now

Posted by Mike on November 1, 2007

Digital Headbutt began to delve into the sports blog universe one year ago this week. Its beginnings were humble, and I was not even fully aware of the vast sports blogosphere around me until this space had been around for three months. 207 posts and 110,000+ hits later, I may very well have created a monster. The kind of monster who ventures into the realm of the unknown, for varying lengths of time, and brings back stuff like this.

Of all the posts on Digital Headbutt, these three were statistically your favorites:

Benny Feilhaber’s Gold Cup Winning Goal

The Survive-Off

(Which reminds me: Day 3 of the Survive-Off is coming…)

The Lou Holtz Pep Talk Drinking Game

I would like to thank all of the sports blogosphere, and all of the great people, too many to mention in this space, whom I would not have collaborated with, spoken to, or met without Digital Headbutt and Tar Heel Mania. You have made this worthwhile. Because dammit, they won’t let me put AdSense on this thing!


Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Am I going to hell for this?, Cruelty to mascots, Cult of Personality, Digital Headbutt, GOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!, Great Moments in Stupidity, HUEVONAZO!, Mel Kiper Has No Idea What's Going On, Mud Butt, Secret Identities, Shameless Self Promotion, Skit Ocksa!, Stuff That Involves Things, Things that are more fun in foreign dialects, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits, what is this hyperbole of which you speak?, Wojo, yes this is a slow news day. how can you tell?, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | Leave a Comment »

100 Most “Influential”: Lorenzo Neal

Posted by Mike on August 20, 2007

Ted Bauer’s 100 Most “Influential” Series is winding down over at A Price Above Bip Roberts, and this week he offered me the chance to write an article about an “important” figure in the NFL. I chose to write about one of my favorite players ever. Lorenzo Neal doesn’t pile up a lot of stats, but he’s a halfback’s best friend, and possbliy the greatest pure blocking fullback in NFL history.


“Lorenzo Neal has been the fullback for the San Diego Chargers since 2003, where he blocks for LaDanian Tomlinson, arguably the best back in the NFL today. For Lorenzo, his most impressive stats have been compiled by others. The halfbacks for which he’s blocked have had 1,000 yard seasons every year since 1997. Five running backs (Adrian Murrell, Warrick Dunn, George, Corey Dillon, and LDT), ten seasons, and they all had 1,000 yard seasons behind Neal. If you include the years when he blocked for Mario Bates in the mid-1990s, the halfbacks behind him rushed for 15,922 yards. That’s good enough for 3rd on the all-time rushing list…”

Think about that. You know you’ve accomplished something when you helped Adrian Murrell rush for 1,000 yards, for the Jets, in the mid-90s.

Read the full article, “100 Most ‘Influential’: Lorenzo Neal”

Posted in Lorenzo Neal, NFL, Shameless Self Promotion | 1 Comment »

Science? Data? Objectivity? The Sports Blogosphere Knows Not These Things

Posted by Mike on August 2, 2007

Ballhype has released their Sports Blogger Study of 2007, and I have to say that the data is impressive. I strongly advise that you check it out. Many thanks to Erin and Ballhype for putting this together.

Unbelievably, I was quoted in the study about the origins of sports blogs:

“My blog did not start a sports blog, but rather a blog for my Journalism class. I began covering sports on it as part of a class assignment. I enjoyed writing about sports so much that I decided to make Digital Headbutt a sports blog after the end of the semester.”

–Mike White, Digital Headbutt

Notice my inability to use pronouns. Yes, Digital headbutt was not born a sports blog, but it grew into one. However, I believe that this natural progression is part of what made it the beacon of oddity that you now see.

As long as we’re on the subject, here is my first ever sports article. A classic, or ready for mummification? You decide.      

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Ballhype, Shameless Self Promotion, Stuff That Involves Things, what is this hyperbole of which you speak?, yes this is a slow news day. how can you tell?, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | 1 Comment »

Brazil vs. Argentina: Copa America Preview

Posted by Mike on July 14, 2007

I was quite surprised when SA from Ladies… asked me to help write a preview of tomorrow’s Copa America final. Aside from the World Cup, soccer is somewhat of a new interest for me, and there are several bloggers who are more soccer literate. However, I accepted the challenge. The final is to be waged by two of the most legendary soccer teams in the world, Brazil and Argentina. This made the article much easier for me to write, saving me hours of necessary research on team Uruguay.

Below is what I wrote. You can also see the Ladies… complete Copa America article for more analysis (and by “analysis” I mean “pictures of South American soccer players they think are hot”).


            We’re getting to the good game now. Trust me, no amount of fiestas on La Republica Deportiva could make Peru versus Bolivia watchable. It’s now a battle between the two best teams in the American continent, and quite possibly the world, for bragging rights and the chance to give Jozy Altidore a rude welcome to senior international soccer at the 2009 Confederations Cup. It should a very heated game, as Brazil and Argentina absolutely hate each other.

Argentina is the heavy favorite to win this year’s Copa America. They bring with them a team that could be more formidable than their World Cup team. In their five games leading up to the final, Los Albicelestes have outscored their opponents 16-3, including a 3-0 annihilation of Mexico in the semifinals.

            A lot of pressure is on Argentina to win. The team has not won any championship of significance since the 1993 Copa America, an unprecedented dry spell for one of the world’s best teams. In Peru 2004, they held a 2-1 lead in the final a against Brazil heading into stoppage time, but Adriano robbed them of a title by scoring in the 93rd minute, in essence when the game was supposed to already be over. Brazil took advantage of their new opportunity, beating Argentina 4-2 on penalty kicks to win. Make no mistake, they need to win this game. For pride. For revenge. To take back their place among the world’s best.

Key Players (club affiliation in parentheses)

  • Lionel Messi, striker (Barcelona). Quite possibly the best soccer player in the world right now, and he’s only 20.
  • Carlos Tevez, striker (???). Ugly as sin, but he’s the reason West Ham is still playing in the English Premier League.
  • Juan Roman Riquelme, midfielder (Boca Juniors). Has five goals in this tournament. Messi and Tevez may be the flash, but Riquelme is the centerpiece, the man that keeps team Argentina running.

Brazil is perhaps the most legendary team in all of sport. At least outside of this country, but we all know that the universe revolves around the U.S. of A. Why else would American football have grown so quickly overseas?*

If you have a hard time recognizing this Brazilian team, that’s because Brazil sent a young, experimental team to Venezuela in order to build for the future. You aren’t going to see names like Ronaldo, Ronaldhino, Dida, Cafu, and Kaká (heh heh, ka-ka). The United States took a similar approach to Copa America. However, Brazil is the soccer equivalent of pre-Coker Miami Hurricanes football. Just about anyone whom they put on the field, even their third and fourth-stringers, can compete with the best teams in the world. The USA, they’re more like Notre Dame; impressive against lesser opponents, but tends not to show up for the big games. (Our youth team notwithstanding, of course. this year they beat Brazil 2-1, and they have a real chance at winning this year’s U-20 World Cup.)

Brazil’s Copa America “B” team was embarrassed by Mexico 2-0 in group play, and nearly lost to Uruguay in the semis. However, anyone wearing those yellow shirts has a chance to win a soccer game, and this Sunday’s final is no exception.

Key Players

  • Robinho, striker (Real Madrid). He leads all Copa America players with six goals in five games.
  • Gilberto Silva, midfielder (Arsenal). Captain of team Brazil and a standout midfielder for a British powerhouse.
  • Vagner Love, striker (CSKA Moscow). Just because he has the oddest name. Ka-ka would have been funnier, but this will suffice.

TV Coverage

The game will be played only on Univision in America. Don’t fret if you don’t speak Spanish; it’s a lot more fun to watch soccer on Univison than on any English-speaking network. I’m very new to soccer, but the past two insanely hot summers would have been unbearable without Fernando Fiore and Pablo Ramirez; instead, I would be worrying about the Red Sox’s dwindling AL East lead, which by the laws of physics will dissolve sometime in August.


I cannot bring myself to root for either team. To be honest, I despise them both. Argentina because they’re smug, holier-than-thou and are the second dirtiest team in the world (Italy being #1), and Brazil because…well, they’re Brazil, that’s why. The ideal situation for me would be for FIFA authorities to find them both guilty of steroid use and award the Championship to Uruguay. However, that’s not going to happen. Brazil will compete well in this game, but they are undermanned against a stacked, angry, and determined opponent. Argentina wins 3-1, but they don’t get the go-ahead goals until the second half.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Argentina, Brazil, Copa America, Futbol, GOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!, Shameless Self Promotion, soccer, Things that are more fun in foreign dialects, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits, yes this is a slow news day. how can you tell? | 4 Comments »

Guest Post: Wimbledon “Preview”

Posted by Mike on July 3, 2007

This past Father’s Day, I offered my dad either the best or the worst gift a blogger could possibly give one of their loved ones: a guest post. Unbelievably, he accepted the gift. I told him that he could write any article that he wanted, so long as he talked about sports and didn’t include an embarrassing anecdote about my childhood. Dad is an avid tennis player and fan; he was a single and doubles player on his high school when they were state champions, and even at 50 he’s able to hold his own on the court against college kids. So he decided to write an article about Wimbledon, a preview that would (and should) have been on this site a week ago if not for many, many things getting in the way. But we’re getting close to July 4th, and nothing could represent America better than severe levels of procrastination by a college student. Besides, it’s fun to look at this and try to laugh at a few disastrously wrong predictions. To maintain my sanity, I have placed a few comments in Italics throughout the post (read: botched attempts at wit) in addition to his, ahem, prose. He was an English major in college, so bear with his hyperbole.

Anyway, this is the article he wrote. God help me.

SwissZilla and The Siberian Screamer begin to wreak havoc in Wimbledon.

The Swiss phenom Roger Federer, “SwissZilla”, who has not lost a match on Wimbledon grass since 2003 is poised to crush all contenders on the men’s bracket again this year. (I am completely convinced that this “Roger Federer” person is a figment of your imagination.) In the meanwhile, Maria Sharapova, the Siberian teen model known best for her high decibel orgasmic screams when hitting tennis balls, appears to be in championship form again this year. Well worth watching. (Putting “orgasmic” and “balls” in the same sentence is going to get me a lot of hits in the coming months. Looks like I actually got something out of this deal. Thanks, Dad.)


Left Photo: Of all the Federer pictures out on the Internet, my Dad picks this one. Body hair is one of the many things I don’t want to know about this guy, along with the possibility that he was some kind of Swiss genetic experiment.

Wimbledon Tennis brings to mind white clad ladies and gents, green grass courts, royalty, steeped tradition and 62,000 pounds of strawberries with 1,500 gallons of cream. Maybe that’s why Sharapova screams so much. (Wait…what???) The organizers of the Wimbledon tennis tournament have tried to keep the staid appearance of the tournament, even limiting the amount of color permitted in the garb of the players. Andre Agassi in his younger (long-hair) years even boycotted the tournament because they would not permit him to wear his trademark black shorts and shoes. (Andre Agassi was young once? I never would have guessed.) They have even whispered in the back halls that they issued a warning to Sharapova to limit her screaming and grunting on court. It is said that her high pitched grunts can be heard from outside the arena, and that the decibel range of her outbursts would not pass OHSA standards for the workplace without hearing protection! (Yes! Exclamation points are excellent to make odd attempts at humor even better! How brilliant and original!) But despite the highly cultured appearance at this third leg of the Grand Slam of Tennis, the competition on the court is nothing less than savage.

Included this year is Hawkeye. No, this is not a character from MASH, nor an avid fan checking out the ladies (and you would know, Dad, wouldn’t you?), but a new computer simulation system using cameras to provide reliable instant replay of line calls. “You cannot be serious!” Poor John McEnroe wouldn’t have anyone to rant at if he were playing. Like Sharapova, McEnroe ruffled the tournament’s feathers with his outbursts, but our appreciation of tennis would not be the same if it were not for his lack of decorum heckling the linesmen and umpires. A little American misbehavior on center court is good for the stiff Brits holding pennies between their cheeks. (What warm-blooded American doesn’t like a good joke about the British?)

Besides Sharapova and a couple of others, the ladies are not exactly the type you’ll see on the cover of Cosmo. What is beautiful among the ladies is the tennis form you’re likely to see. Last year’s Wimbledon champion, Amalie Mauresmo, is a decidedly unsexy French woman with a marvelously beautiful backhand. Her one-hander is close to perfection and will definitely make her a contender once again this year. Justine Henin, is a Belgian powerhouse who has three similar characteristics to Mauresmo, French is her native language, she has a marvelous single handed backhand, and she definitely will never make the cover of Cosmo. Between these Francophiles and Sharapova the other likely female to make the finals is the self-proclaimed “bootylicious” Serena Williams. (My God, what has our society come to when my dad understands the context of the word “bootylicious”? What’s next, is he going to make it rain on his next birthday?) Oh yeah, she is the big mama on and off the court, but do not let the extra pounds fool you, Serena has game and can beat anyone on any day if her head is in the game.

Serena: a beautiful woman with the capacity to crush your skull at will has to be a turn-on.


justine-henin.jpg amelie-mauresmo.jpg

These pictures of some of the best male tennis players in the world is a perfect segue to discussing the Wimbledon men’s draw. Hey, wait a minute…

On the Men’s side, history could be made by SwissZilla winning his fifth straight Wimbledon championship, tying Bjorn Borg for the most consecutive wins in modern history. He is certainly at the peak of his career, winning every major tournament over the past three years, except for the two French Open finals he lost to Rafael Nadal. Roger’s game is nothing less than majestic in its dominance. Jack Kramer, one of the legends of tennis (I never knew that Seinfeld’s neighbor had such talent) says “I have never seen anyone play the game better than Federer. He serves well and has a great half-volley. I’ve never known anyone who can do as many things on a court as he can.” What Kramer does not mention, and one of the things that makes Federer a truly impressive champion, is Roger’s ability to raise the level of play when challenged by an opponent.

The Spanish attack (honestly, when have the Spanish ever attacked since Franco?) is led by Rafael Nadal, the hot young Mallorcan with guns. (Between the picture of Federer’s body hair and that last comment about Nadal, I’m starting to get concerned.) He is the only player on the circuit that has been able to beat Roger multiple times over the past two years. Nadal is the master of clay, never losing at the French Open, and he made it to the finals in Wimbledon last year. He might be Roger’s nemesis, but it is unlikely he can beat Roger on grass. Despite his incredible foot speed and court coverage, Nadal’s huge topspin game lacks the power serve, the variety, or the net game to win on grass.


I can’t believe that I actually have some insight here, but here goes. Wimbledon’s grass has become markedly slower in the last few years. That makes Nadal’s transition from clay a bit easier.

The USA does not have a real contender. Andy Roddick, who won the US Open once, has been completely outclassed and outplayed by Federer. Andy has just two clubs in his golf bag, a driver and a putter versus a full fourteen clubs for Federer. It would surprise me if Roddick even makes it to the quarters. And Roddick is probably the best of the American players. We all hope Blake, the Harvard wonder boy, can rise up to the next level but we haven’t seen it yet.




Russia has the some of the best raw talent in players like Marat Safin, Nikolay Davidenko, and Mikhail Youzhney, but none have had the consistency to be real contenders at Wimbledon. There are some interesting hopefuls out of various far flung places such as Cyprus (Baghdatis), Argentina (Nalbandian), Croatia (Ancic) and Germany (Haas), but they are all merely SwissZilla bait on grass! (Here we go with those exclamation points again!)

So sit back, enjoy the strawberries and cream while imagining what the Siberian Screamer sounds like in person!

Wimbledon Links:

Men’s Draw

Women’s Draw

So there you have it, my dad’s first foray into blogging. If you’ve survived this long, then congratulations. Considering that this is a start (a START? Who taught you to read, boy? Wait, that’s right, I did. Ohhh snap!), he did a good job. In particular, he did a great job in picking the photos and videos for his article. That’s all that blog readers look at anyway, so this was a success. Thanks, Dad, and I hope you enjoyed this father’s day gift.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Funny Videos, Great Moments in Stupidity, Maria Sharapova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Shameless Self Promotion, Sports no one plays, tennis, This is why the Internet was invented, USA! USA!, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | 26 Comments »

Vote For Digital Headbutt Or We Shoot The Saban

Posted by Mike on June 16, 2007

Round 3 of the Ladies…Hot Blogger Bracket is well underway, and right now I’m in a really close matchup with Sammy’s Sports Sermons. So desperate times call for desperate measures.


That’s right, I have captured the one that you seek. Vote for me, Digital Headbutt, or I will shoot the Saban, and he will never be heard from again.

Wait a minute…Who wrote this? Saban, did you write this behind my back?

(Saban nods ‘yes’)

GODDAMMIT! Now I’m going to look like a fool in front of the whole world! You think I’m a fool, Saban?!? DO YA?!? HUH?!? HUH?!?

(Saban nods ‘no’)

That’s what I thought. Now just sit there, and stop trying to screw this up!

(Saban nods ‘yes’)

Okay, where were we? Oh yes. What I meant to say was “If you vote for Digital Headbutt, we will reward you, the voters, by shooting the Saban, so he will never be heard from again.” He’s been a nuisance to all of us, and in doing this we won’t have to put up with his antics for the next 10-20 years. Even the Bammers don’t want that; they just don’t know it yet.

And to my Tar Heel faithful: thank you for voting. You’ve gotten me this far, now let’s kick it up a notch!

(Director) Aaaaaannnd Cut!

Good work people! Now that’s what I call a ransom video.

(Saban) Can I go home now?

Not yet. We need to make another tape addressing your followers. But first, some barbecue.

(Saban) With a side of lies?

We wouldn’t serve it to you any other way, Mr. Saban.

(Saban) Hooray!


Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Alabama, Bracket, College Football, Cult of Personality, Digital Headbutt, Great Moments in Stupidity, Hot Blogger Bracket, Mud Butt, Nick Saban, Patriotism at its finest, Sabanism, Shameless Self Promotion, This is why the Internet was invented, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits | 4 Comments »