Digital Headbutt

A sports blog about stuff…stuff that involves things.

Archive for October, 2007

Beckham? We Don’t Need No Stinking Beckham

Posted by Mike on October 8, 2007

We bloggers have a memory which rivals that of a goldfish, but you may remember that this past summer, some English guy with bad ankles played in our country for like a month. Well, after he finally was injured for the season in the August 29th SuperLiga final, you probably stopped paying attention to his team, the LA Galaxy. Who could blame you really? After losing their “star” to injury and already not having won in regular season play for nearly two months, there was no reason to believe that they would even sniff the playoffs, right?


After the SuperLiga final, LA lost to bottom feeders Real Salt Lake on September 1st. Since then, the Galaxy have been on a tear, going 5-2-1 (W-L-D) in their last 8 matches including victories in their last four. Their rise has been in part due to Joe Cannon and their suddenly good defense, who have allowed one or zero goals in their five wins (and conversely, 3 goals each in their two losses) during that span. They’ve also distributed their offense very evenly, getting 13 goals from at least 9 different players; Galvin Glinton leads the team with 3 goals within the stretch. Interestingly enough, they also haven’t had trouble drawing crowds without Beckham; attendance to Galaxy matches have averaged 26,645 fans per match, and their last two games have had at least 30,000 spectators (compared to DC United, at the top of the standings and one of the MLS’ best supported teams, who have not drawn an MLS crowd larger then 25,174).

More importantly is that LA, seemingly dead in the water exactly one month ago, now has the chance to grab a playoff spot, assuming that they can win their remaining three games and Kansas City fails to win their remaining two games. And guess who’s ankles are all better just in time for the playoff push? Yep, you guessed it.


So now this Galaxy team has a problem. Sure, Beckham is a big asset to this team both on the field and in the stands. But the team is already playing extremely well in his absence. So, if you’re LA coach Frank Yallop, do you put Beckham in at risk of team disruption and another injury, hoping that his abilities will help your team get over the top in these last few, key games? Or do you decide not to disrupt team chemistry, leave him on the bench, and hope your hot team comes through to make the playoffs? How Yallop answers this dilemma will likely determine his job security.


Posted in Beckham, Futbol, GOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!, LA Galaxy, MLS, soccer | 3 Comments »

Huevonazo of the Week: Huevonazo To End All Huevonazos

Posted by Mike on October 8, 2007

This video was first purveyed to you mortals in the ALDS live blog, but it’s so insane that it deserves to have its own post. This is how to properly promote your rock band on television:

If you can’t read Japanese, it says “New Single Yonaoshi” Good Vibration from Sex Machineguns, a Japanese thrash metal band. Why yes, I do have the corresponding music video:

These guys are awesome. That was the huevonazo to end all huevonazos. Oh, and the music’s good, too.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Cruelty to mascots, Great Moments in Stupidity, HUEVONAZO!, Japan, Nihongo ga hanasemasu ka?, nutshots, Things that are more fun in foreign dialects, This is why the Internet was invented, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits | Leave a Comment »

All Other State Fairs Are Run By Health Freaks

Posted by Mike on October 6, 2007

Today is the Red River Shootout between Texas and Oklahoma, one of the fiercest rivalries in the country. After their losses last week, the game doesn’t have national implications this year. But that doesn’t mean that fans won’t have the experience of the lifetime. The Shootout is hosted during the world’s trailblazer is deep-fried goodness: the Texas State Fair!


At the Texas State fair, they fry everything. Literally–everything. Among their list of accomplishments:

  • Deep-fried ribs
  • Fried Oreos
  • Fried Twinkies
  • Fried Peanut Butter, Jelly, and Banana Sandwiches
  • Fried candy bars
  • Fried hamburgers
  • Fried Pizza
  • Fried Coke

It takes true aficionados to take a liquid and figure out how to fry it.




This year, they’re coming up with new and creative ways to clog your arteries. Slashfood has the complete list, and WFAA has photographic evidence:


  • Deep Fried Latte
  • Fried Cookie Dough
  • Fried Guacamole Bites
  • Country Pride Peach Cobbler on a Stick
  • Fernie’s Fried Chili Frito Burrito
  • B.W.’s Original Fried Banana Pudding
  • Mama’s Fried Sweet Potato Pie


Who cares about nuclear weapons technology? Somebody took a peach cobbler, deep fried it, and put it on a stick! That’s true innovation right there.

So there you have it. You now have seven new and exciting dishes for your next tailgate. If you serve anything else, then you just aren’t American enough.



Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Big 12, EAT IT! EAT IT!, Texas, WTF, YAW YAW YAW CAWLEDGE FOOBAW! | 4 Comments »

Games To Watch: College Football Week 6

Posted by Mike on October 6, 2007

#5 Wisconsin at Illinois (12:00 ET, ESPN): Despite being the #5 team in the land, the Badgers haven’t looked very impressive this year, and they’re the Vegas underdogs against Zook and the Illini. Can Wisconsin prove their skeptics wrong?

Kansas at #24 Kansas State (12:00 ET, FSN): It’s the Battle for the Governor’s Cup (aka the Sunflower Showdown), and for the first time in recent memory, both teams are good heading into this matchup. It’s “GET IN MY BELLY!”…

…versus the Power Towels. Who ya got?

Miami at North Carolina (12:00 ET, ESPN2): UNC comes home after a road trip against two ranked opponents, and the next two home game’s aren’t any easier. But the Hurricanes didn’t look too impressive against Duke, and UNC pulled the miracle upset against a top 5 Miami team the last time they came to Chapel Hill. A  s always, the live blog is at Tar Heel Mania.

#10 Oklahoma vs. #19 Texas (3:30 ET, ABC): One week ago this might have been the week’s premier game, between two top 10, undefeated conference opponents in one of the nation’s biggest rivalry. Unfortunately for them, Kansas State and Colorado spoiled that party. Well, at least there’s always the artery-clogging experience that is the Texas State Fair. Seriously, they found a way to fry soft drinks!


#12 Georgia at Tennessee (3:30 ET, CBS): Without a successful season, Phil Fulmer could be in serious trouble in Knoxville. In the way of a win today is the Bulldogs, who are a staggering 23-3 on the road in SEC play under Mark Richt.

#15 Virginia Tech at #22 Clemson (6:00 ET, ESPN): Past history says that this is the kind of game that Clemson will lose. Can Tommy Bowden’s team change the status quo against the Hokies’ tough defense?

#4 Ohio State at #23 Purdue (8:00 ET, ABC): Both teams are undefeated, but neither have really been challenged this season. Now is the time for them to prove whether or not they are true contender.

#20 Cincinatti at #21 Rutgers (8:00 ET, ESPN2): Of all the BCS teams in the top 25, the Bearcats probably have to be the biggest surprise. At 5-0, they face a Rutgers team reeling from a loss to Maryland last week, and looking for revenge after Cincy dashed their conference title hopes last year.

#8 Florida at #1 LSU (8:00 ET, CBS): The big matchup of the week, possibly the entire year. Even though Florida lost to Auburn last week, they’re right back in the title hunt with a win in Death Valley. But can anyone beat the Tigers right now?

Needless to say, today will be a great day in college football.

Posted in ACC, AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Big 12, Big East, College Football, Florida Gators, Get Pumped!, Kansas, Kansas State, LSU, Mel Kiper Has No Idea What's Going On, NCAA, Ohio State, Patriotism at its finest, Rutgers, SEC, Tar Heels, Texas, UNC, Virginia Tech, what is this hyperbole of which you speak?, YAW YAW YAW CAWLEDGE FOOBAW! | 2 Comments »

Red Sox vs. Angels, ALDS Game 2 Live Blog: YOU WAN CRAAAZY FACE HUNDURA MIRRION DORRA?!?, Playoffs Edition

Posted by Mike on October 5, 2007

The Boston Red Sox won the AL East for the first time in 12 years, the only team title that had eluded the Sox since John Henry bought this team in 2003. Now they face the Angels in the ALDS, up 1-0 in the series so far. The playoffs is when the real season begins.

But the real reason we’re covering this game is because it’s Daisuke Matsuzaka’ first start in the MLB playoffs. At Digital Headbutt, that means only one thing: A Live Blog/Engrish/Japanese game show extravaganza!


8:58 pm: The Red Sox-Angels game is currently being pre-empted by Yankees-Indians, which just went into the 11th after Cleveland left the bases loaded. Meanwhile, Daisuke just got out of the 1st inning, and it’s still 0-0.

9:00 pm: CORRECTION: You can see the Sox game on TNT.

9:02 pm: Kevin Youkilis faces 0-2, but he manges to bring up a walk from Kelvim Escobar, setting up a David Ortiz at-bat with one on.

9:05 pm: Ortiz gets an base hit, a 1-2 line drive to left-center field. Two on, one out, Manny at the plate.

9:09 pm: After a long at-bat, Manny hits a ball deep into center field…and right into the glove of Chone Figgins. Two on, two out.

9:12 pm: Escobar walks Mike Lowell to load the bases for Boston. This is both a good thing and a bad thing; The Red Sox lead the MLB in runners stranded, and J.D. Drew is at the plate. (shivers)

9:13 pm: Line drive don the middle of the diamond, and Drew has a base hit! Youkilis and Ortiz come around to score. The Red Sox take a 2-0 lead in the first inning.

9:16 pm: Varitek line out to second base to end the inning. Boston leads 2-0 after 1.


9:20 pm: Unbelievable. Matsuzaka sets up 0-2, and then he throws four straight pitches to Casey Kotchman’s feet. One on, no outs to start the top of the 2nd.

9:24 pm: Kendry Morales grounds it to Pedroia, but he just misses the ball. Morales gets the base hit and Kotchman goes to third, but perhaps more importantly, Pedroia seems to have injured his shoulder. Fortunately, he looks okay.

9:26 pm: Matsuzaka is in trouble with runners on the corners and no outs, and Howie Kendrick is at the plate for the Angels.

9:27 pm: Daisuke seems to have suddenly turned on his nasty pitching; He just struck Kendrick out on 3 pitches. What’s more impressive is that Kendrick swung twice and missed–badly. One out.

9:30 pm: Jeff Mathis grounds out to Lowell, but he can’t make a play at home, Kotchman scores, and Boston’s lead is down to 2-1.

9:33 pm: Figgins gets a hits into left field, and Manny Ramirez, apparently distracted by the breaking news that Cleveland beats the Yankees, runs right past the ball. Morales scores, and the game is tied at 2-2.

9:34 pm: Within two pitches, Orlando Cabrera hits a deep shot to the base of the monster, Figgins scores from second, and the Angles take a 3-2 lead. This inning has not been kind to Matsuzaka.

9:36 pm: Guerrero grounds to Pedroia, and the top of the second mercifully comes to an end. The Angels have taken a 3-2 lead in the middle of the 2nd inning.

ENGRISH OF THE SECOND INNING: Do not drink this coffee.


9:39 pm: The game switches back to TBS, as everyone’s favorite breakfast cereal will lead off in the bottom of the second.

9:40 pm: Coco Crisp quickly strikes out. One down, and Lugo is up next.

9:42 pm: Julio strikes out just as quickly as crisp, Pedroia grounds out on the first pitch, and the inning is over in less than 10 pitches. Some nice pitching by Escobar, and the Angles keep their 3-2 lead after two innings.

JAPANESE VIDEO OF THE INNING: Hurdles and a giant treadmill. What can go wrong?

9:47 pm: Garrett Anderson hits a blooper to right field, and Drew can’t quite get to it. Anderson gets a double to lead off.

9:48 pm: Izturis grounds it to Lugo in front of a running Anderson, and he’s out by a mile at third. Good defense, but bad running on Garrett’s part.

9:49 pm: Matsuzaka has already thrown 66 pitches tonight, and he’s only had 7 outs.

9:50 pm: Maicer Izturis steals second base uncontested.

9:51 pm: Kotchman hits into the easy groundout. 2 down, and Izturis goes to third.

9:52 pm: Morales hits one deep, all the way to the right-center warning track, but Drew is there to make the catch.

9:53 pm: ENGRISH OF THE INNING: This sign is an Engrish goldmine.


9:55 pm: Escobar continues to throw nasty stuff, quickly disposing of Youkilis on the strikeout.

9:57 pm: Did Escobar suddenly space out? Ortiz is walked on four pitches, and Ramirez is at the plate with one on.

10:00 pm: Ramirez’s AB did not begin well. Two big swings, two big misses.

10:01 pm: After two foul balls, Escobar throws a high fastball past Manny for strike three. That’s four strikeouts in two innings for Kelvim.

10:03 pm: Lowell grounds to Cabrera, and he easily throws him out to end the 3rd inning. Angels are holding onto a 3-2 lead.

JAPANESE VIDEO OF THE INNING: Quite possibly the most bizarre ad you will ever see.

10:06 pm: Some serious technical difficulties from TBS. Howie Kendrick suddenly looks like a player from Tron.

10:08 pm: For the third straight inning, the Angels leadoff batter gets on base. Daisuke’s face says it all: “Dame desu yo.”

10:09 pm: Matsuzaka pitches a foulout to Varitek in the first pitch.

10:10 pm: What a play by Youkilis! He makes the big dive to stop a potential double, and he beats Figgins to first. Two away, Kendrick at second.

10:11 pm: Cabrera grounds out to short to end the inning, and the Angels are holding onto a 3-2 lead in the middle of the fourth.

ENGRISH OF THE INNING: Wow, Japan is really un-PC.


10:15 pm: Drew hits a decent grounder, but Kotchman makes the grab and throws Drew out to Escobar at first. One down.

10:16 pm: If not for Escobar’s bottom 1st and Matsuzaka’s top 2nd inning, we may have a great pitchers duel on our hands.

10:17 pm: Varitek hits a line drive into left field, but Anderson is there to make the catch.

10:18 pm: On the first pitch, Coco Crisp lays a perfect bunt, and he outruns the throw to first for a single.

10:19 pm: Mathis, the catcher, bobbled on the throw and Crisp steals second easily. All it rakes now is a decent hit by Lugo for Crisp to head for home and tie this game.

10:22 pm: Is it just me, or does Dustin Pedroia look just like EVERY COLLEGE-AGE SOX FAN ON EARTH?

10:23 pm: Lugo strikes out to end the fourth. Angels lead, 3-2 after four innings.

JAPANESE VIDEO OF THE INNING: Ask Milk! (Or as they call it, Gyuu-nyuu)

10:27 pm: Top of the 5th inning. Guerrero grounds out to Lugo for the first out.

10:28 pm: Garret Anderson flies out to Coco Crisp. Two up, two down.

10:30 pm: Matsuzaka is not helping his own cause. After Youkilis deflects the ball trying to catch it, and Dustin Pedroia had a chance to make a play and end the inning. But Daisuke did not get to the bag in time, and Maicer Izturis makes it to first easily.

10:33 pm: Kotchman screams a line drive foul into the Angels dugout, and it looks like someone on the bench is hurt.

10:34 pm: Izturis steals second again. The Throws bounces off of Lugo, but Pedroia is there to back up and prevent a possible run to third.

10:35 pm: Mastuzaka throws a wild pitch advancing Izturis to third, then he walks Kotchman, and that will be the end of the night for Daisuke. Francona is pulling him.

10:37 pm: Lefthander Javier Lopez enters the game to Mexican Standoff music.

10:39 pm: The Red Sox get a forceout at second to end the top of the fifth. The Angels’ lead remains 3-2.



10:44 pm: Pedroia opens the bottom of the 5th with a line drive double down the left field line. Youk advances Pedroia to third on the check swing.

10:45 pm: Escobar intentionally walks David Ortiz to put runners on the corners for Manny Ramirez. MAN-NY! MAN-NY! MAN-NY!

10:47 pm: Boston pulls a reverse Bartman (or a semi-Jeffrey Maier). A fan makes a huge extension to take the ball away from Mathis and a foulout.

10:51 pm: Manny manages to work the count, and walks to load the bases. If Mike Lowell drives in runs to take the lead, that kid who caught the foul ball will be the toast of Boston.

10:52 pm: Lowell hits deep, deep ball to left-center. Figgins makes the catch, but Pedroia tags up from third to tie the game at 3-3.

10:56 pm: After a very long at-bat by Drew, he grounds out to first to end the inning. Good thing the inning is over, because Ortiz is exhausted from running on four stright 3-2 foul balls. The game is tied, 3-3 after five innings.

JAPANESE VIDEO OF THE INNING: Everyone’s favorite game show, another episode of Human Tetris!

11:02 pm: Top of the 6th. Manny Delcarmen is in to pitch for the Red Sox.

11:03 pm: Youk takes the grounder and throws to Delcarmen at first for the out. One down.

11:04 pm: Pop out to J.D. Drew. Two down on very few pitches.

11:07 pm: Figgins strikes out to end the top of the 6th. The game remains a 3-3 tie, as Delcarmen’s stuff looks really good right now.

ENGRISH OF THE INNING: Uh, thanks but no thanks.


11:09 pm: Scott Shields is in to pitch for the Angels, replacing Escobar.

11:12 pm: Shields disposes of Varitek to start the bottom of the sixth inning.

11:113 pm: Shields lost a bit of control, walking Coco Crisp on what looked like four pitches.

11:16 pm: Lugo hits a line drive down the line, but it’s just outside and short of the Pesky Pole.

11:18 pm: After Lugo flies out to center field, Coco Crisp made a huge baserunning mistake. He slides into second and a bit past, but he doesn’t know where the ball is. Seeing Figgins at center, he rushes back to first, but he doesn’t retouch second base and the Angels throw him out at second for a double play to end the inning. The game is tied, 3-3 after 6 innings.


11:23 pm: A flyout to Crisp to open the inning. One away.

11:25 pm: Guerrero takes a bad hit on the shoulder from Delcarmen, and he’s not happy at all. With a runner on first and one out, Delcarmen is coming out of the game in favor of Hideki Okajima.

11:32 pm: Okajima, after a long at-bat, finally rids of Garret Anderson on a flyout to Crisp.

11:34 pm: Whoa. Okajima’s offspeed pitch is absolutely filthy.

11:35 pm: Strikeout, and the top of the 7th is over, with the game still tied, 3-3.



11:41 pm: Shields remains in the game. Pedroia grounds out, and then Youkilis hits a fly ball directly into Anderson’s glove. Two up, two down, and Ortiz is at the plate.

11:44 pm: Shields walks Big Papi, his third straight walk. Manny now comes on with two outs.

11:47 pm: Shields walks Ortiz and Manny back-to-back. Spire, another reliever is warming up, and he will likely face Mike Lowell. For now, Shields stays in.

11:49 pm: Lowell faces a full count and he…flies out to Figgins to end the inning. The game is tied a 3-3 after 7.


11:53 pm: Hideki Okajima remains on the mound for the 8th inning.

11:55 pm: One away, but Manny nearly lets that fly ball drop.

11:59 pm: Okajima strikes out his next batter for the second out of the inning, but that will be all for him in this game. Papelbon is coming in.

12:02 am: On the first pitch Kendrick grounds it to Lowell, but Youkilis can’t handle the throw. I believe that’s his first error of the season. The Sox were going to get a very easy out; instead they have Kendrick at first.

12:04 am: Kendrick steals second base easily, and Juan Rivera comes in to pinch hit for the Angels.

12:07 am: Instead of the bottom of the 8th, we’re stiil in the Rivera at-bat. It’s been a long AB, it’s a full count, and now Kendrick is at third.

12:08 am: Papelbon had a 1-2 count, but he ends up walking Rivera. Now Figgins comes to the plate, instead of a a one-pitch out to end the inning.

12:10 am: The Angles pinch runner for Rivers takes second base easily.


12:12 am: Finally, Papelbon strikes out Figgins to get to the bottom of the 8th. The game remains a 3-3 tie.

ENGRISH OF THE INNING: Lindsay Lohan, there’s still a pageant for you!


12:16 am: The Red Sox had some nice momentum after that strike out. Drew promptly kills it with a bad groundout.

Apparently, Vlad Guerrero is out of the game. Justin Speier is in to pitch for the Angels.

12:19 am: Varitek grounds out for the second out of the inning.

12:20 am: Dammit! Coco Crisp hits one high and deep, but it was 10 feet short of a homerun. The game remains tied, 3-3 after 8 innings.

JAPANESE VIDEO OF THE INNING: A different kind of yakyuu…

12:23 am: Only three days into the postseason, and I’m already sick of Dane Cook.

12:24 am: Sorry Steve Stone, for Anderson to look like Oscar De La Hoya, he needs to be in a thong and fishnets.

12:26 am: After nearly walking the first batter, Papaelbon manages to dispose of Orlando Cabrera with a popout.

12:28 am: Papelbon gets the next batter to fly out to Lugo. Two up, two down, and Garret Anderson is at the plate.

12:32 am: Anderson swings and misses–badly–on the first two pitches, but he still manages to draw a walk. Fortunately, Papelbon pops out Izturis on bring it to the bottom of the 9th. The game is tied, 3-3, and the Red Sox get the top of their lineup after Lugo leads off.



12:36 am: Lugo gets a base hit on the first pitch, and the winning run is on for the top of the lineup.

12:37 am: A hit and run by Pedroia. He’s thrown out at first, but Lugo is now in scoring position.

Out goes Speier, in comes K-Rod for the Angels. Youkilis will head to the plate with Lugo at second.

12:40 am: A sneaky move by K-Rod, who almost picks off Lugo at second.

12:42 am: Youkilis strikes out. Two out one on, and the Angels will almost certainly walk Ortiz, and it’s all up to Manny now.


What a way to end this game, which give the Red Sox a 2-0 lead as the series heads to Anaheim.

I hope you enjoyed the game and the Japanese weirdness tonight.












Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Baseball, Big Papi, Boston, Dice-K, Engrish, Japan, Live Blog, Matsuzaka, MLB, Nihongo ga hanasemasu ka?, Things that are more fun in foreign dialects, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits | 3 Comments »

#8 Kentucky vs. #11 South Carolina Live Blog

Posted by Mike on October 4, 2007



Does anyone know who’s grabbing Rich Brook’s junk in that picture to the left? If so, please let me know.


Seriously, though, Kentucky has impressed early behind Heisman candidate Andre Woodson, but this is their first true test. They’ll need to pass the test, because they face #1 LSU next week. As for South Carolina, they need someone, anyone, to step up and show some consistency at quarterback. For now, the Gamecocks will rely on their defense. It’s going to be a good game this Thursday night.

7:47 pm: The game is underway. We’re getting some rain tonight.

7:48 pm: Wow. Four seconds in and Chris Smelley has already spent a timeout for USC.

7:52 pm: Smelley gets sacked to force 3rd and long, but on third down, he delivers a quick pass right on the money, up to the 30 and for a first down.

7:53 pm: I can’t help but laugh when I hear Fowler say “the stats for Smelley”

7:55 pm: The Ole Ball Coach runs a draw to Boyd on third and long. Amazingly, it works. Good job by the O-line to make a big hole for him to run.

7:56 pm: TOUCHDOUMBLE! SUC’s Tight end, Saunders, looked like he managed to juke out the defenders, but a Kentucky player strips the ball out of his hands before he crosses the line. It flies out of his hands, out of the endzone, and Kentucky gets the ball at the 20.

The worst part? That’s exactly the kind of play I expect from Brooks Foster when UNC plays Miami on Saturday.

7:59 pm: TOUCHDOWN! The Gamecocks immediately atone for the fumble, stripping the ball away from Andre Woodson on the first offensive play, it bounces towards the endzone, and a linebacker falls on it into the endzone. USC leads, 7-0 on perhaps the two freakiest consecutive fumbles in college football history.

8:02 pm: Rafael Little takes the handoff to start the drive, and he gets a huge 25 yard gain past midfield against USC’s overpursuant front seven.

8:03 pm: The Gamecock defense adjusts immediately, stuffing the next two Wildcat runs.

8:04 pm: Kentucky runs a successful screen, but it’s well short of a first down and Kentucky will punt. Either they adopted a conservative gameplan after the fumble and touchdown, they planned a conservative start all along, or the Carolina defense are dictating the pace right now. I think it may a bit of all three.

8:08 pm: USC started their drive from the five. They go 3-and-out on two run plays and a bad pass. Not very good playcalling, and the Gamecocks will punt.

A bad punt, and Kentucky will start in SC territory.

8:13 pm: Not a good penalty for the Gamecocks. A short run turned into a 16 yard gain with a 15-yard facemask, and suddenly Kentucky is in field goal range.

8:14 pm: Woodson fires a pass to his tight end, who almost gets a touchdown before being brought down inside the 10. First and goal.

8:15 pm: Three bad plays in a row for the Wildcats. First, Woodson leads the fullback too far on the swing pass, then Little is stuffed, and finally Woodson misfires a pass that would not have led to a touchdown anyway. Kentucky salvages a field goal, and it’s now 7-3, S. Carolina.

8:18 pm: Smelley opens Sc’s drive with a quick short pass to McKinley, who works his way around a few defenders and speeds to a first down.

8:20 pm: Craig James: “McKinley uses a great receiver technique called foot fire.”

Fowler: “I had foot fire once. Took a week to get rid of it.” Smelley and the USC offense drives past midfield.

8:23 pm: The flags are really flying early tonight, for both teams.

8:25 pm: Smelley takes his first big hit of the game. He still almost hit his receiver, but the ball fell out of Freddy Brown’s hands. Third and long.

8:26 pm: How do the Wild cats leave Chris Mickinley wide open…up the middle…on third down? A great job by McKinley for getting open and putting his team in the red zone, but Kentucky simply cannot allow those kinds of plays.

8:27 pm: That floater to the end zone looked like it was nearly intercepted—twice–before McKinley let a decent chance a a touchdown through his arms.

8:28 pm: Timeout, South Carolina. They’ve already spent two, and the first quarter isn’t over.

8:29 pm: Smelley gets another floater into McKinley’s hands, but the throw isn’t there soon enough, and a Kentucky DB is there to strip the ball away. USC settles for a field goal, and they now lead 10-3. They’ve thrown away a few opportunities, but they’re dominating time of possession.

8:33 pm: Woodson virtually had a touchdown to a wide open Keenan Burton. But he overthrew the ball, and it’s incomplete.

8:34 pm: Rafael Little gets stuffed again to end the first quarter. South Carolina leads 10-3 after 1.

8:38 pm: Woodson is hit as he throws on third down, and the receiver makes the big one-handed catch to give them the first in SC territory.

8:40 pm: Rafael Little gets a bug run, it takes 3 guys to take him down, and Kentucky is in the red zone.

8:41 pm: Craig James: “Git ‘R Done”! It’s really awkward to hear an announcer outside of the PBR say that.

8:43 pm: Woodson floats one up to the endzone, and Tamme, a 6′ 5″ receiver, is there to make the catch. TOUCHDOWN KENTUCKY, and They have tied the game, 10-10.

8:49 pm: You have to love ESPN. This is a close game, between two top 15 teams, with big implications in the best conference in the country, and the announcers are debating whether or not Spurrier threw his headset.

8:51 pm: After a screen play that failed miserably, Smelley nearly gets called for a safety, intentional grounding in the endzone. Fortunately for him, he got rid of it at the 1.

USC’s drive: 3 plays, -19 yards, punt. You don’t get much worse a drive than that.

8:54 pm: Flutie “Food……….Food………”

8:56 pm: Kentucky is penalized for holding, but they quickly compensate for the penalty. Rafael Little gets 7 on the draw, and then Woodson fires a pass 15 yards downfield for a first down.

8:58 pm: Tony Dixon comes in at RB for the Wildcats, and he gets another big run and another first down for Kentucky. They’re knocking on the door again.

8:59 pm: They run the screen again, but this time it works, as Little gets a first down into the red zone against the SC blitz.

9:00 pm: INTERCEPTION! Woodson throws under pressure in the pocket, and he floats it right into the hands of Captain Munnerlyn, who returns it into good field position. What’s worse, Woodson may have been injured trying to make a tackle. But most importantly…Captain Munnerlyn, if real, might be the greatest name of all time.

9:03 pm: The Gamecocks can’t take advantage of the turnover. Three and out.

9:08 pm: The Gamecocks have done a good job so far of making WR Keenan Burton a non-factor for most of this game.

9:09 pm: The Wildcats go 3-and-out themselves. Mashay, the punter, boots it 63 yards to inside the SC 10.

9:12 pm: Smelley throws to an open tight end up the middle for w first down, and then Cory Boyd wide huge room on the draw play, to get into UK territory in just two plays.

9:14 pm: A Kentucky player cam very close to literally taking the ball away from a receiver’s hands and intercepting the football.

9:15 pm: Smelley finds McKinley again, and he gets the Gamecocks into the red zone, with a chance to take the lead just before halftime (under two minutes left).

9:17 pm: Mike Davis takes a couple of carries, and he powers his way inside the five. First and goal.

9:18 pm: TOUCHDOWN! MIke Davis gets the ball on the the third straight play. Kentucky can’t stop him, as he dives his way into the endzone. S. Carolina leads, 17-10 on a 10- play, 89- yard drive.

9:19 pm: They’re calling him Holtz the Magnificent now? Theriouthly?

9:21 pm: Kentucky seems content to run out the clock, and we’ve reached halftime. South Carolina leads 17-10 at intermission. Both teams have done a decent job of running their offense, but Woodson hasn’t been able to get much done through the air today. A good job by the Gamecock secondary, but they’ll need to run better pass plays. The Ole Ball Coach must be happy with how his quarteback tonight, but his team is letting a lot of big runs through.

9:38 pm: As Always, the best part of the Thursday Nothgt Football broadcast…is the Lou Holtz Pep Talk. Florida is doomed on Saturday.

9:43 pm: The second half begins, and Kentucky has the ball to start.

9:46 pm: Woodson finally connects with Keenan Burton, firing a bullet down the middle where onlt Burton can catch it. First down, Kentucky in enemy territory.

9:47 pm: FUMBLE! Three huge mistakes. First, the Gamecocks break through the offensive line without being contested. Woodson is in trouble immediately, and then he throws an -off-balance lateral. Finally, his receiver treats it like an incomplete pass. All of this means that SC’s linebacker, Norwood is uncontested in picking up the fumble and racing in for his second defensive touchdown of the game. South Carolina leads, 24-10, band you can pretty much end Woodson’s Heisman hopes right now. Even if the Wildcats comeback. No QB should make those kinds of mistakes and get such prestigious hardware.

9:52 pm: Kentuckt’s offense heads right back to work. Let’s see how they respond to that costly mistake.

9:53 pm: The Wildcats have gone back to the ground game, and so far it continues to be successful. Rafael Little is nearing 100 yards on the night, and Kentucky is in Gamecock territory.

9:55 pm: Derek Locke, a freshman and Kentucky’s third RB, gets another big run to put the Wildcats in scoring position.

9:56 pm: After the first down run is stuffed, Woodson throws two incomplete passes to bring up 4th down at the 24. The Wildcats get the 41-yard field goal, and the deficit is now 24-13.

10:00 pm: Thanks to EDSBS, I can never again see an a fat guy at a southern football game without thinking “GET IN MY BELLY!!!”

10:02 pm: FUMBLE! Wow…even when things go right for Kentucky, tonight they go so, so wrong. They force a rare 3-and-out, but Rafael Little muffs the punt, and GREATEST NAME EVER! recovers at midfield. That’s four very costly turnovers for the Wildcats now.

10:07 pm: Another 3-and-out, as Smelley gets sacked twice in the drive, not getting rid of the ball. That’s been the big difference in this game; when Smelley’s under pressure, he takes a sack. When Woodson’s under pressure, he commits turnovers.

10:12 pm: After Kentucky commits a holding penalty, South Carolina forces a 3-and-out of their own, and the Wildcats punt to, as Fowler called him, “The Dangerous Captain Munnerlyn.” How is that not the best name in all of college football?

10:16 pm: As if people’s stereotypes about the state of Kentucky aren’t bad enough right now, UK’s wildcat mascot is wearing…jean overalls.

10:17 pm: Doug Flutie and Craig James, apparently, resent it when Chris Fowler throws around obscure statistics. Kentucky gets the ball back.

10:19 pm: Rafael Little continues to run well against the South Carolina defense, and now is over 100 yards.

10:23 pm: Kentucky has outgained South Carolina in the third quarter, by 145 to -15. You read that right. Minus 15 yards. Yet USC has a touchdown and Kentucky only has a field goal to show for it. Just another reminder, as Little gives UK first and goal and the Gamecock band plays the “Pirates of the Carribean” theme, of now much turnovers matter in football.

10:26 pm: The Wildcats run the draw play on third down, and Rafael Little has a wide open lane…but he muffs the handoff and has to fall on it. They’ll have to settle with the field goal in the fourth quarter. South Carolina leads 24-13 after 3.

10:29 pm: Fowler: “Not a good night for body paint. But then again, I think body paint…should be outlawed.”

James: “Well, if you’re wearing body paint that’s waterproof, then it’s body paint.

Flutie: “…What?”

Kentucky gets the FG. 24-16, South Carolina.

10:32 pm: Smelley finds a wide open Jared Cook, and suddenly USC is in Kentucky territory. Finally, they have positive yardage in the second half.

10:34 pm: Mike Davis manages to overpower several tackles on that screen play. I fhe had managed to keep his balance, that might have been a touchdown.

Nevermind, the referee negates the play with an illegal shift call.

10:36 pm: Smelley finds Boyd coming out of the back field, and he gets a first down and puts South Carolina in field goal range.

10:37 pm: South Carolina is advancing the ball, but one of their players is injured. That’s their second injured player tonight, and at least their fourth in three weeks.

10:41 pm: TOUCHDOWN! Smelley runs the play action on second and goal, and he finds the nephew of Chris DiMarco on the left edge of the end zone. South Caroina takes a 31-16 lead, and may have effectively put this game away.

10:51 pm: Kentucky is grinding it out on the ground, but they continue driving down the field and getting first downs.

10:52 pm: After Woodson is sacked for big loss on first down, Keenan burton gets a nice gain on the screen pass. A makable third and 6 here.

10:53 pm: The run on 3rd down is stuffed. Kentucky must convert on 4th and 8 to keep their hopes alive.

10:54 pm: On fourth down, Woodson fires a bullet that’s dead-on to a receiver along the sidelines, and they just get the first down.

10:55 pm: Dixon takes another screen pass and gives Kentucky a first down inside the red zone.

10:56 pm: TOUCHDOWN! Steve Johnson makes another great catch on the sidelines, and this time it’s in the endzone. The defense stood little chance to stop that. After the extra point, Kentucky’s deficit is down to 31-23.

10:59 pm: Less than seven minutes left, and Kentucky must stop the Gamecocks on this drive.

11:00 pm, 6:02 left: Smelley makes a great pass to Lecorn, who gets big yardage after the catch and past midfield.

11:06 pm, 4:20 left: Smelley gives South Carolina another first down, this time on a third down conversion. More importantly, they’re running the clock out.

11:07 pm, 3:28 left: TOUCHDOWN! Cory Boyd was expected to get only a few yards on the swing pass, but he outraces everyone else to the endzone. South Carolina now leads 38-23, and this game is all but over.

11:13 pm, 2:20 left: Kentucky turns the ball over on downs in their own red zone, and this game is really, really, over. LB Eric Norwood has had the game of his life tonight.

11:17 pm: And it’s over. South Carolina wins, 38-23. Shockingly, Chris Smelley didn’t make any mistakes, and Eric Norwood took full advantage of the turnovers that Andre Woodson gave him. That’s all there really is to it; Kentucky’s ill-timed turnovers, and South Carolina’s lack thereof, were the difference in this game.  








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