Digital Headbutt

A sports blog about stuff…stuff that involves things.

Archive for July, 2007

Huevonazo of the Week: Qatar

Posted by Mike on July 10, 2007

Soccer has been very good to me in this category, because flailing Arms + lots of kicking + full speed + no cups = nutshot. Every time.

This one comes from the 2006 Asian Games in Doha, Qatar.


Posted in Funny Videos, Futbol, HUEVONAZO!, nutshots, Qatar, soccer | Leave a Comment »

Celebrating “The Headbutt”

Posted by Mike on July 9, 2007

Exactly one year ago today, I was cheering for France to win the World Cup Final. Despite having a little Italian blood in me, I can’t bring myself to root for the single dirtiest sports team on the planet. (Unless, of course, the opponent is Duke.) It was Zidane’s final game. France had beaten perennial favorites Brazil in the quarters, and Italy had beaten their German hosts to get to the finals. Italy roughed up star Thierry Henry early in the game, Zidane scored on a penalty kick around the 20th minute, and the Azzuri responded with a header into the nett off a corner to make it a 1-1 game at halftime. The next sixty-five minutes of action was fairly forgettable.

Then came what was perhaps the most infamous moment in World Cup history, and the inspiration for this blog’s name.

There are few better ways to go out than in blazing glory. Except when you’re the captain of your national team and the world’s most important soccer match still hangs in the balance.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Digital Headbutt, Futbol, Materazzi, soccer, This is why the Internet was invented, WTF, Zidane | Leave a Comment »

USA vs. Brazil Live Blog: 2007 U-20 World Cup

Posted by Mike on July 6, 2007

Quick! Name 5 players on Team USA’s Under 20 World Cup Team! I’ll even give you two of them: Freddy Adu and Jozy Altidore.

I can’t name five players either. The only other players whom I know are Michael Bradley (because he played in the Gold Cup) and Gabriel Ferrari (because he plays in Serie A). With the exception of Adu, you may not even know these names. However, they are the future of the Men’s National Team, and some of them will be suiting up in South Africa in 2010.

There is somewhat of a buzz for this game after the US destroyed Poland’s U-20 team (who had just beaten Brazil) by a score of 6-1, including three goals from Adu. Combined that with the senior team’s annihilation in Copa America, and this team is one of the few things that American soccer fans can look forward to between now and the Confederations Cup and World Cup Qualifiers in 2009.

There’s also the small fact that with a win, we can say we beat m—–f—ing Brazil in soccer.


7:32 pm: They’re showing tonight’s match on ESPN. The good news: it’s being broadcasted in English. The bad news: soccer is definitively more boring without Univision’s Fernando Fiore and Pablo Ramirez.

7:39 pm: The Brazilian goalkeeper reminds me of Bob Marley.

7:43 pm: Nothing quite says “North American Sporting Event” quite like AC/DC and Guns n’ Roses blasting through the PA system. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? How we fare in this game will determine my answer to that question.

7:49 pm, 5th minute: Neither team has dominated the game early, but team USA got the first corner kick. As a matter of fact, we got three of them.

7:50 pm, 6th minute: After three attempts, Brazil’s defense is finally able to get the ball out of harm’s way.

7:51 pm, 7th minute: Brazil’s Jo attacks and manages to draw a corner thanks to some excellent footwork. Watch out for Jo in this game and in the future.

Neither keeper has been challenged yet.

7:54 pm, 10th minute: Great passing by Brazil, but USA’s defense keeps it together and prevents a shot on goal.

7:55 pm, 11th minute: What a shot by Robbie Rogers. He fires a bullet from the left side 25 yards away, and Cassio has to make a leaping save and force a corner kick. Eventually, Brazil clears the ball.

7:58 pm, 14th minute: It looks like the junior American team is more aggressive and opportunistic than the senior team (at least the team that showed up to Copa America).

7:59 pm, 15th minute: Brazil’s Marcelo demonstrates excellent dribbling skills as he runs with the ball past two defenders. Once again, however, team USA is able to prevent a decent shot.

8:01 pm, 17th minute: Please, Jozy, tell me that wasn’t a flop attempt.

8:04 pm, 20th minute: One of the things that has really impressed me so far has been the USA U-20 team’s ability to recover quickly from defensive mistakes. With the senior team, defensive laspes often lead to goals for the other team.

8:06 pm, 22nd minute: Marcelo rifles a shot on goal, but Brad Seitz is there to make the save.

OHHH!!! Rogers sets up a near-perfect opportunity for Jozy Altidore, but he wasn’t able to deflect the ball enough in front of the net, and Cassio is able to make the save.

Robbie Rogers definitely looks like a player who could be on the senior team very soon.

8:09 pm, 25th minute: GOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!! Altidore drills a shot from outside the box, and puts it in the left side of net past the faked-out goalkeeper. 1-0, USA. Whooooooo!!!

8:11 pm, 27th minute: Wow. Mexican fans are everywhere, even in attendance at this game.

8:13 pm, 29th minute: Brazil gets a free kick outside the box, but Ji Parana’s attempt goes right into the keeper’s hands.

8:14 pm, 30th minute: Every time I see the Brazilians on the attack, I see Jo making it happen.

8:17 pm, 33rd minute: (stranger on the street) “Hey buddy, you wanna thrill? ‘Cuz I can, uh, hook ya up with a little hit of, uh…racism.” Kids, pay attention to the FIFA signs; just say no.


Seriously, do people still need to be reminded of this?


8:21 pm, 37th minute: so far, this game has been more exciting than anything I saw in Copa America by any team, except for Mexico’s performance against the senior Brazil team. A lot of attacking and scoring opportunities by both sides.

8:25 pm, 41st minute: Wow…Brazil had a near perfect opportunity to score on that play. The passing was great, a good cross by Amaral, and the defense was pretty much fooled. But no one was in front of the net to put it away and tie the game.

8:28 pm, 44th minute: As Brazil is getting more and more opportunities to score, I’m really beginning to get concerned about our defense. However, we haven’t broken yet.

8:31 pm: That’s the end of the first half. USA leads 1-0 on Jozy Altidore’s goal in the 25th minute. This has been an exciting game so far, but Brazil got more chances to score near the end of the half, If this continues in the second, team USA could well relinquish their lead.

8:47 pm, 47th minute: The second half has begun.

8:49 pm, 49th minute: Ouch. Dan Szetela just received a free kick right to the head. He seems to be OK, but that has to have caused some major brain damage.

8:50 pm, 50th minute: Early in the second half, Brazil continues to dominate possession of the ball, and get an early shot on goal, that requires an aggressive intervention by our keeper. I don’t like this at all.

8:54 pm, 54th minute: A great behind the back pass from Freddy Adu to Altidore, who gets another chance to score. But Brazil’s defense is all over him, and his outreached kick goes wide right.

8:56 pm, 56th minute: Renato Augusto hits a solid free kick, but Seitz is there to make the save again.

8:58 pm, 58th minute: Cassio’s hand pre-empts an attempted header by Adu.

Wait a minute…I had suspected that this game was being played on an artificial field, but I thought that FIFA explicitly required grass field for their major tournaments. What gives?

9:00 pm, 60th minute: Freddy Adu got got yellow carded.

I haven’t heard much from Jo so far in this half.

9:02 pm, 62nd minute: OHHHH!!! I thought for sure that Pato was going to tie this game. great passing by Brazil, but his kick hits the right netting side.

If you’re thinking odf watching Man vs. Wild right now, stay and watch this game; you can see Bear Grylls kill a Gila monster for food after the game.

9:04 pm, 64th minute: NOOOOOOO!!! Brazil Kicks a shot directly at the keeper, but he can’t grab the save, and Lima scores an ugly goal on the rebound. The game is tied, 1-1.

9:10 pm, 70th minute: This game has been really exciting, However, Adu and Altidore haven’t been able to make good out of potential scoring opportunities in the second half. Combine that with the facts that Brazil could score at any moment and that Seitz is allowing a lot of rebounds, and I am a bucket of nerve right now.

9:11 pm, 71st minute: Renato Augusto comes out of the game. He’s put in a very good night’s work for the Brazilians.

9:14 pm, 74th minute: Jo is an extroardinary athlete; he’s been able to make scoring chance out of seemingly non-existent opportunities.

9:15 pm, 75th minute: Fifteen minutes to play, and we’re tied at one. The game is beginning to get tense, but in particular for the Brazilians. With a loss, they could be eliminated from making it to the knockout stages.

9:19 pm, 79th minute: Brazil makes another substitution. Out with Lima, in with Luiz Adriano.

9:20 pm, 80th minute: Brazil takes another shot, and the USA gives them a wide berth, but the strike goes wide.

9:22 pm, 81st minute: GOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAAAZZZOOOOOOO!!!! Adu with unbelievable footwork in the back right corner, gets the ball into the box, and Altidore is there to put the ball into the open net! What a great game that Adu and Jozy have had tonight, and USA leads 2-1 with less than ten minutes to go! WHOOOOOOO!!!

9:24 pm, 84th minute: Another Brazil shot is stopped by Seitz.

I simply cannot overemphasize how fantastic that play by Adu was that led to the second goal. He was stuck in the corner against two defenders, and manged to dribble the ball several times without it touching the ground, until he kicked the ball over everyone’s head, threaded through the defenders, and retained the ball, attacking the box, all alone.

9:27 pm, 87th minute: Brad Seitz makes not one, but two spectacular save off the corner by Brazil to salvage the game. Trailing the American team with 3 minutes left, they have released the dogs, and they are attacking the net every chance they have. We’re not out of this yet.

9:29 pm, 89th minute: Tim Ward replaced an exhausted Tony Beltran for team USA.

I wonder how much stoppage time Brazil will get.

9:31 pm, 90+ minutes: Seitz makes the save off the free kick header by Brazil, but WTF? Four minutes of stoppage time? Where did that calculation come from? It’s going to be a long four minutes.

9:33 pm: In the final substitution of the game, Altidore heads to the sidelines, replaced by Dax McCarty.

9:35 pm: Brazil will get a free kick, and one last shot.

9:36 pm: And it’s over! USA wins, 2-1! In know it’s a U-20 game, but still, we beat m—–f—ing Brazil in an international game that mattered! That is HUGE!

Say it with me…WE BEAT BRAZIL IN THE WORLD CUP. Spectacular performances by Freddy Adu and Jozy Altidore brought us the victory tonight. With this win, the Americans have won their group, and may have eliminated Brazil from the tournament. What an exciting game, and what a result.

Now, enjoy the victory and go watch Bear Grylls kill something.





Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Brazil, FIFA U-20 World Cup, Futbol, Live Blog, soccer, USA! USA! | 5 Comments »

USA vs. Colombia Live Blog: Copa America 2007

Posted by Mike on July 5, 2007

With Peru, Uruguay, and Chile all receiving ties in their third games, there is now no way that we can advance in Copa America. Therefore, we will see a lot of players who were on the bench get some game experience today.


We need a good result from this game, if only for pride.

6:40 pm, 6th minute: We get our first scoring opportunity with a free kick, but Hercules Gomez kicks it wide left.

6:43, 9th minute: Team USA put Brad Guzan in goal. I know that we’re not going to advance, but considering all of the complaints about how Kasey Keller has been playing, would Bradley have made this switch even if a quarterfinal spot was on the line?

6:45 pm, 12th minute: The stadium in Barquisimeto looks really nice, if you overlook the 10 foot wall of metal fence separating the fans from the field.

6:49 pm, 16th minute: NO! Colombia had been dominating ball possession, even thought nothing had become of it until now. A good cross from the right side is finished with a header into the net by Jaime Castrillon. The nightmares are coming back.

6:51 pm, 18th minute: Colombia nearly scores again thanks to a huge error by Brad Guzan, who didn’t secure the ball after a stop. Fortunately for him, two American players were there to try and knock the ball away from goal.

6:55 pm, 22nd minute: USA gets another legitimate scoring chance. Eddie Johnson advances deep in the right side of the Colombian end of the field, and draws a free kick. Justin Mapp’s kick is cleared, but Sacha Klejstan manages to put a good shot on goal from 20 yards out.

Imagine how sad that is, that I’m satisfied that we get a good shot on goal 23 minutes into the game.

6:59 pm, 25th minute: Hercules Gomez draws another free kick for team USA just outside the box. While I’m glad that we are being given another scoring opportunity (which we miss…again), I’m beginning to come concerned about a specific aspect of our play. Throughout Copa America, I have seen the one soccer strategy I thought I would never see out of the American team: anything that resembles or could be construed as flopping. Casual fans who are more familiar with American football certainly would not accept some of the falls that I’ve seen from team USA.

7:05 pm, 31st minute: Total minutes that team USA has played in Copa America: 210. Total minutes during which team USA has held a lead: 2 (10th and 11th minutes against Argentina). Much of it was in control of European clubs, who chose not to release some of our best players, but this is what happens when you send the MLS All-Stars to an important international tournament.

7:08 pm, 35th minute: To stop an easy goal, Guzan tackles Colombia’s Hugo Rodallega, drawing a penalty kick. Unbelievably, he saves the “PENAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!” and after two corner kicks the Americans are able to clear the ball out of harm’s way.

7:11 pm, 38th minute: Pablo Ramirez: “HOO ARR YU! AIM DE KIIPERRRR.” Those kinds of calls make a terrible game worth watching.

7:15 pm, 42nd minute: The Beautiful Game raises speculation that Mexico tied with Chile on purpose, to ensure that team USA, their hated rival, could not advance in this tournament. I might actually agree with that 😉

7:19 pm, 45+ minutes: Colombia is definitely a faster team than the 11 players we have on the field right now. We’re going to need the halftime brak to regroup. At the end of the first half, Colombia leads, 1-0. My morale has a taken a significant drop in the last week. Exactly seven days and 36 minutes ago, We were the undefeated Champions of CONCACAF, team USA had played some of the most exciting soccer I had seen out of them in a log time against Mexico in the final, and Eddie Johnson has just scored off a penalty kick to give us a lead against ARGENTINA! Now, we could very well be the worst team in this tournament. If it isn’t a buzzkill, it’s certainly a wake-up call.

7:37 pm, 47th minute: The second half has just begun. Eddie Gaven is in for Hercules Gomez.

7:40 pm, 50th minute: It’s apparent that Colombia is still dictating the pace of this game. Most of the game so far has been played with them in possession of the ball, advancing the ball into our defensive territory.

7:43 pm, 53rd minute: Justin Mapp created two opportunities for USA off of a free kick; unfortunately, we were unable to convert either of them. He’s been one of our few bright spots in this game (and this tournament, really).

7:44 pm, 54th minute: I’m pretty sure Pablo Ramirez just called team USA “Los Nike.” That certainly wouldn’t be far from the truth.

7:48 pm, 57th minute: The long periods of relative inactivity in soccer games can feel different to different fans. If you’re putting a lot of emotional investment in the game (like I did in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final or in the first 75 minutes against Argentina), then you spend that time completely on edge. If you don’t have much feeling for the game, then you’re pretty bored. Since we can’t advance no matter what happens, my mental state has been the latter in the last 10 minutes or so.

7:54 pm, 63rd minute: During the second half, the offensive aggressor for Colombia has been Vladimir Marin. He has been responsible for their free kicks, and has attempted their last 2 or 3 shots.

7:55 pm, 65th minute: Out goes a tired Justin Mapp, in goes Charlie Davies for Team USA. Honestly, at this point we’re fielding players whom I have never heard of before, which is a bad sign.

7:59 pm, 69th minute: If there’s one big issue that I think team USA needs to address, it’s finishing what you start. We’ve gotten some good opportunities to score in this tournament, and in many games that I’ve seen, but we have been unable to capitalize on many of them. It’s really frustrating to see us get 6, 7, 8 decent chances at scoring, and coming up completely empty or with only one goal. We have to take better advantage of opportunities in order to be competitive in the world stage.

8:02 pm, 72nd minute: Eddie Johnson comes out of the games, replaced by “Lee N-win”. Oh, Pablo, without you I don’t know what I would do.

8:04 pm, 74th minute: You know this is a bad game when fans are doing “the wave” and already there are chants of “ARGENTINA! ARGENTINA!”

Now that I think about it, I’m hoping that Argentina wins this whole thing, so that we may get another shot at them in the 2009 Confederations Cup.

8:12 pm, 81st minute: We now have only nine minutes to score a goal and prevent ourselves from being the last place team in Copa America.

8:15 pm, 84th minute: Colombia catches USA’s defense completely flat-footed, leading to a two man breakaway. However, Lee “N-win” rushes in to deflect the ball away and prevent the easy goal and a 2-0 deficit. Three corner kicks later, Brad Guzan finally grabs the ball out of the air and clears the ball out of the zone.

8:17 pm, 87th minute: GOOOOOooo…..wait. USA finally gets an opportunity in the zone, and Kyle Beckerman manages to score on the right side. However, he is called offside, as no defender is in front of him when the ball is kicked in his direction.

8:19 pm, 89th minute: Here’s an interesting twist: Colombia has already used all of their substitutions, and Their goalie just got red carded, for what reason’s I’m still not sure. It means that one of their position players must play goal for the rest of the game. If this can’t get us a goal, nothing will.

8:26 pm, 90+ minutes: Well it got interesting near the end, but team USA was once again unable to take of advantage given to them, and Colombia wins the game 1-0. With this result, Los Nike finish 0-3 in Copa America, and with a goal differential of -6 end the tournament in last place. I should not have expected too much from our team in this tournament; it’s bad enough that we play in CONCACAF, and then we can only send our C team against everyone else’s A team. Still, I certainly expected more than this. Unfortunately, it will be quite a while before our senior team will be able to redeem itself after a disappointing finish.

I will look toward the U-20n World Cup for light at the end of the tunnel, where our American squad just beat Poland by a score of 6-1. Go USA! Beat Brazil!

Posted in Colombia, Copa America, Futbol, Live Blog, soccer, USA! USA! | 3 Comments »

Huevonazos of the Week: To Celebrate America’s Independence, You’re Getting More Than One

Posted by Mike on July 4, 2007

I know what you like…shots to the groin! So let’s start your fourth of July off the right way, shall we?

First, we’re going to celebrate America’s military, as our troops show off a new weapon on an unwitting comrade.

If only we started deploying these weapons in Iraq…either Al Qaeda members will cringe and beg for mercy, or they will take no many huevonazos that they will be unable to “produce new recruits”.

Next, we have two kids playing soccer, when kid one’s boot goes flying into kid 2’s danger zone.

Listen to the slo-mo scream. It’s one of the oddest sound I have ever heard. Absolutely hilarious.

Our next video is of a goalie who takes a puck in the nether region. However, the shot itself, which is two seconds in, is not the best part of the video.

The best part is that the goalie continues to writhe in pain well after the fact, and that all other players on the ice keep playing for well over 90 seconds while the goalie is down for the count. I know that you need to keep playing until the whistle blows, but situations like these are why you need a referee.

Finally, we celebrate our superiority in sports with a huevonazo from a sport that only the United States could have produced: skateboarding.

I hope that those huevonazos are all the fireworks that you’re going to need today, because the “official” fireworks shows are bound to disappoint. Have a great fourth of July, everyone, and happy 231st birthday, America!

Posted in Funny Videos, Futbol, Great Moments in Stupidity, Hockey, HUEVONAZO!, nutshots, Patriotism at its finest, soccer, This is why the Internet was invented, USA! USA!, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits | 1 Comment »

Guest Post: Wimbledon “Preview”

Posted by Mike on July 3, 2007

This past Father’s Day, I offered my dad either the best or the worst gift a blogger could possibly give one of their loved ones: a guest post. Unbelievably, he accepted the gift. I told him that he could write any article that he wanted, so long as he talked about sports and didn’t include an embarrassing anecdote about my childhood. Dad is an avid tennis player and fan; he was a single and doubles player on his high school when they were state champions, and even at 50 he’s able to hold his own on the court against college kids. So he decided to write an article about Wimbledon, a preview that would (and should) have been on this site a week ago if not for many, many things getting in the way. But we’re getting close to July 4th, and nothing could represent America better than severe levels of procrastination by a college student. Besides, it’s fun to look at this and try to laugh at a few disastrously wrong predictions. To maintain my sanity, I have placed a few comments in Italics throughout the post (read: botched attempts at wit) in addition to his, ahem, prose. He was an English major in college, so bear with his hyperbole.

Anyway, this is the article he wrote. God help me.

SwissZilla and The Siberian Screamer begin to wreak havoc in Wimbledon.

The Swiss phenom Roger Federer, “SwissZilla”, who has not lost a match on Wimbledon grass since 2003 is poised to crush all contenders on the men’s bracket again this year. (I am completely convinced that this “Roger Federer” person is a figment of your imagination.) In the meanwhile, Maria Sharapova, the Siberian teen model known best for her high decibel orgasmic screams when hitting tennis balls, appears to be in championship form again this year. Well worth watching. (Putting “orgasmic” and “balls” in the same sentence is going to get me a lot of hits in the coming months. Looks like I actually got something out of this deal. Thanks, Dad.)


Left Photo: Of all the Federer pictures out on the Internet, my Dad picks this one. Body hair is one of the many things I don’t want to know about this guy, along with the possibility that he was some kind of Swiss genetic experiment.

Wimbledon Tennis brings to mind white clad ladies and gents, green grass courts, royalty, steeped tradition and 62,000 pounds of strawberries with 1,500 gallons of cream. Maybe that’s why Sharapova screams so much. (Wait…what???) The organizers of the Wimbledon tennis tournament have tried to keep the staid appearance of the tournament, even limiting the amount of color permitted in the garb of the players. Andre Agassi in his younger (long-hair) years even boycotted the tournament because they would not permit him to wear his trademark black shorts and shoes. (Andre Agassi was young once? I never would have guessed.) They have even whispered in the back halls that they issued a warning to Sharapova to limit her screaming and grunting on court. It is said that her high pitched grunts can be heard from outside the arena, and that the decibel range of her outbursts would not pass OHSA standards for the workplace without hearing protection! (Yes! Exclamation points are excellent to make odd attempts at humor even better! How brilliant and original!) But despite the highly cultured appearance at this third leg of the Grand Slam of Tennis, the competition on the court is nothing less than savage.

Included this year is Hawkeye. No, this is not a character from MASH, nor an avid fan checking out the ladies (and you would know, Dad, wouldn’t you?), but a new computer simulation system using cameras to provide reliable instant replay of line calls. “You cannot be serious!” Poor John McEnroe wouldn’t have anyone to rant at if he were playing. Like Sharapova, McEnroe ruffled the tournament’s feathers with his outbursts, but our appreciation of tennis would not be the same if it were not for his lack of decorum heckling the linesmen and umpires. A little American misbehavior on center court is good for the stiff Brits holding pennies between their cheeks. (What warm-blooded American doesn’t like a good joke about the British?)

Besides Sharapova and a couple of others, the ladies are not exactly the type you’ll see on the cover of Cosmo. What is beautiful among the ladies is the tennis form you’re likely to see. Last year’s Wimbledon champion, Amalie Mauresmo, is a decidedly unsexy French woman with a marvelously beautiful backhand. Her one-hander is close to perfection and will definitely make her a contender once again this year. Justine Henin, is a Belgian powerhouse who has three similar characteristics to Mauresmo, French is her native language, she has a marvelous single handed backhand, and she definitely will never make the cover of Cosmo. Between these Francophiles and Sharapova the other likely female to make the finals is the self-proclaimed “bootylicious” Serena Williams. (My God, what has our society come to when my dad understands the context of the word “bootylicious”? What’s next, is he going to make it rain on his next birthday?) Oh yeah, she is the big mama on and off the court, but do not let the extra pounds fool you, Serena has game and can beat anyone on any day if her head is in the game.

Serena: a beautiful woman with the capacity to crush your skull at will has to be a turn-on.


justine-henin.jpg amelie-mauresmo.jpg

These pictures of some of the best male tennis players in the world is a perfect segue to discussing the Wimbledon men’s draw. Hey, wait a minute…

On the Men’s side, history could be made by SwissZilla winning his fifth straight Wimbledon championship, tying Bjorn Borg for the most consecutive wins in modern history. He is certainly at the peak of his career, winning every major tournament over the past three years, except for the two French Open finals he lost to Rafael Nadal. Roger’s game is nothing less than majestic in its dominance. Jack Kramer, one of the legends of tennis (I never knew that Seinfeld’s neighbor had such talent) says “I have never seen anyone play the game better than Federer. He serves well and has a great half-volley. I’ve never known anyone who can do as many things on a court as he can.” What Kramer does not mention, and one of the things that makes Federer a truly impressive champion, is Roger’s ability to raise the level of play when challenged by an opponent.

The Spanish attack (honestly, when have the Spanish ever attacked since Franco?) is led by Rafael Nadal, the hot young Mallorcan with guns. (Between the picture of Federer’s body hair and that last comment about Nadal, I’m starting to get concerned.) He is the only player on the circuit that has been able to beat Roger multiple times over the past two years. Nadal is the master of clay, never losing at the French Open, and he made it to the finals in Wimbledon last year. He might be Roger’s nemesis, but it is unlikely he can beat Roger on grass. Despite his incredible foot speed and court coverage, Nadal’s huge topspin game lacks the power serve, the variety, or the net game to win on grass.


I can’t believe that I actually have some insight here, but here goes. Wimbledon’s grass has become markedly slower in the last few years. That makes Nadal’s transition from clay a bit easier.

The USA does not have a real contender. Andy Roddick, who won the US Open once, has been completely outclassed and outplayed by Federer. Andy has just two clubs in his golf bag, a driver and a putter versus a full fourteen clubs for Federer. It would surprise me if Roddick even makes it to the quarters. And Roddick is probably the best of the American players. We all hope Blake, the Harvard wonder boy, can rise up to the next level but we haven’t seen it yet.




Russia has the some of the best raw talent in players like Marat Safin, Nikolay Davidenko, and Mikhail Youzhney, but none have had the consistency to be real contenders at Wimbledon. There are some interesting hopefuls out of various far flung places such as Cyprus (Baghdatis), Argentina (Nalbandian), Croatia (Ancic) and Germany (Haas), but they are all merely SwissZilla bait on grass! (Here we go with those exclamation points again!)

So sit back, enjoy the strawberries and cream while imagining what the Siberian Screamer sounds like in person!

Wimbledon Links:

Men’s Draw

Women’s Draw

So there you have it, my dad’s first foray into blogging. If you’ve survived this long, then congratulations. Considering that this is a start (a START? Who taught you to read, boy? Wait, that’s right, I did. Ohhh snap!), he did a good job. In particular, he did a great job in picking the photos and videos for his article. That’s all that blog readers look at anyway, so this was a success. Thanks, Dad, and I hope you enjoyed this father’s day gift.

Posted in AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!, Funny Videos, Great Moments in Stupidity, Maria Sharapova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Shameless Self Promotion, Sports no one plays, tennis, This is why the Internet was invented, USA! USA!, Way More Tags Than This Post Merits, Your hubris is burning from the nosebleed section | 26 Comments »